I was setting up for an event the other day when it struck me that we somehow think we have to do everything ourselves and that we are weak if we ask for help. This couldn't be further from the truth. I watched a lady struggle at moving a bench by herself. I went over to her and offered a hand. "No, I have it" she said. She was quick to refuse my help. After she had struggled and returned huffing and puffing she beamed, "see I don't need any help" Meanwhile if she had allowed me to take one end or even if she had asked for help in the first place, it would have taken less time and she would not have been out of breath.
When I was a kid I often heard the saying, many hands make light work. It was usually when we had been to my grandparents for dinner and a tea towel was being thrown in my direction. It was my invitation to pitch in. As a family we all would help out at family dinners. Someone would set the table, someone else might be peeling the carrots and potatoes, others would help in the washing up and putting the dishes away. Many hands make light work. Everyone helped out and lightened the load.
At some point we as a society decided that if someone needed to be helped they were weak. So in order to be perceived as strong, we need to do everything ourselves. And in this dog eat dog world, if you want to play with the big boys you must be strong and self sufficient. The problem with that is we are not here to be insular. We are here to help each other along our individual paths. We are all part of something greater and we need to support each other, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. Actually, a strong person is the one who realizes that they can not do everything and seeks out those who can help. It makes sense since we all have different talents or abilities that we can't be good at everything and need others to help us along our journey.
When we work together we are connecting with one another. When I offer to help someone I am opening my heart and offering a connection. But when we refuse that connection, that help, we are closing our self off and refusing that person. For example, I have heard many women say they don't want their husband or partner to clean the kitchen or help make dinner because he does it wrong. Well, it many not be wrong, but it is not the way she wants it done. But what really is at play here is that he wants to help, to support her and to connect with her. When she says no, she is says no to that connection. It really does not matter how the onions are chopped in the grander scheme of things, what matters is that we open our hearts, connect and support each other. Daily we are disconnecting from each other because of technology, distance and the speed at which we believe we have to live our lives. We are small fragments of something much bigger than us, and we spend our life looking for those other fragments, our other half or the members of our Soul family to connect with. So while we each have our own path to walk, we still need to be strong and recognize when we need help and ask for that support. Every time we connect with each other we become stronger. We are not here to struggle by ourselves and there are times when we need help carrying the load we have. So be strong, ask for help and connect.